Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I'm having one of those days where I sit and daydream about another life and being someone else.  Not as an escape from my family, they'd be there too.  Its one of those days where I revel in my fantasy (that a lot of people find a really odd "fanatsy")

I sit and daydream and long to be in our home (preferable away from "society" on a homestead type place), barefoot in the kitchen (pregnant would work with this fantasy too) making frugal healthy food from scratch for my family.  I'd be wearing a prairie skirt or a broomstick skirt.  Isaac would be contentedly in the floor or there with me, doing smart stuff.  That would be because I was home with him and taught him all that smart stuff.  Klay might be there too, or he might be out working.  Yeah, he'd be out working somewhere (even if its at home) because him being there would ruin my fantasy.  Not because I don't love him and want him there, he just kills my productivity and that's NOT a part of my fantasy.  While our nice whole wheat homemade bread (that would never ever be a flop) was rising, I would knit or sew or hang my laundry on the clothesline to be flapping in the breeze (because it would always be Springtime, never cold and yucky and my dog would never pull them off the line).  We'd tend our chickens.  We'd gather produce from our garden (which is perfect and weedless).    At night after a wonderful homecooked meal, we'd sit and read books and play together then all go to bed happy. 

Then the phone rings and pulls me back from my daydream...."Insurance Office, this is Erin."  "Sure I can give you a quote, just a sec." "No, I'm not joking.  No, I CAN NOT make it any cheaper."  "Yes, that IS a good price." "Well...3 DWIs, 2 speeding tickets, and an at fault accident will do that."  "I'm sorry, even though it 'wasnt your fault' you'll have to take that up with the Revenue Office." "Hello?  Hello?  Are you there?......"

Thankfully 5:00 rolls around, I hop in my car, go home to my messy house, hoping the dog didn't get into the dirty diapers (again).  Try to throw a load of laundry in the washer/dryer.  Unload and load the dishwasher.  Resist the urge to have frozen pizzas and actually cook something...anything.  I need chocolate...chocolate chips..that works.  "No, Isaac, these are Mommy's, wait until supper." *Screaming Begins*

However, this is my life.  It was given to me.  Generally I like it a lot.  But I have days like today.  Maybe I've been reading too many Amish novels here lately...:-)

All Grown Up

Seriously...can my kid look any more grown up?  All together now...AWWWW

Monday, November 29, 2010


Okay, after this mornings post, its time for something fun.  The latest cute things my child has done.

  • At church Sunday we decorated our Chrismon tree (Curious as to what that is? Click Here)  SOme of the Chrismons were Hearts, Stars, and Lambs.  When each of those were displayed Isaac made sure the entire church knew it was a "Haart" a "Tar" and a "ba baa".
  • He also sang along with Christmas songs, particularly the "Boooorrrrnnnn" part of Silent Night.  (ya know "Christ the Savior is Born" )
  • He looked like SUCH a little man Sunday.  I'll post pics when I get them off my camera.  I swear he looked all of 3 or 4.  Really.  
  • He also demanded that the "tree ON!" when the lights got turned off for the Chrismon service...  and when they were turned on he yelled "YAY!"
  • We set up our Christmas decorations.  I left a small (cheap) Nativity Scene down where he could reach it, playing with the Nativity was one of my favorite memories.  So far every one has kissed baby Jesus, and gave him rides on their shoulders, from which he fell and yelled "WOAH"  And the sheep said "baa baa"
  • Everytime Isaac gets to a closed door, or a barrier he proclaims "Gate LOCKED!"  (this included my leg keeping him from leaving the pew in church, which he tells everyone loudly.)
  • His favorite song is "Winkle Winkle little Tar"  And after he sings that part he sings the rest really fat so he can get done.  He sings all the time.

Under a Spiritual Attack

Hey, Satan.  Get away!  Get behind me and go away.  I dont need or want you here.  And I'm stronger than you because I have God on my side. 

I had an amazing weekend but oh, sometime around Sunday you started to try to get in the way and mess it up.  Saturday I realized the funny feeling I had was because I was experiencing something that had been rare to me in recent days...contentment.  And I kinda liked it.   

Then the attacks started...Sunday morning I had to miss Sunday school because my keys got locked in the house, while me and Isaac were outside.  And Klay wasn't home.  But we toughed it out and didn't give up and made it to church.  I was also determined to go Sunday night, I've been missing and needing Bible Study and the informal fellowship, but hadn't wanted Isaac to be disruptive.  Well...4:15 (church starts at 5) Isaac fell asleep.  Well, I decided I was going no matter what so I carefully carried him out and put in him in the car (score! still asleep!).  Made double sure I had my keys, and went to church.  He was great, played quietly in the toddler room by himself (except for the occasional waving out the door at anyone who would wave)the whole time.

Well, dumb old Satan,  I beat ya there didnt I.  But no...you werent done yet were ya.  You made Isaac wake up and be fussy all night with a fever.  Guess what?  I prayed, and kept my cool (no pun intended) and beat ya!  He woke up this morning (well wake up is a loose term) just fine!  So...you kept it coming.

At work you had a renters policy I JUST wrote have a major total loss claim.  Fishy?  Sure.  My fault...no but I still feel like it is/could be.  But I"m not letting it get me.  I (no, not me, GOD in me) is stronger than you so why dont you just go crawl under a rock where you belong.  You aren't wanted here, welcome here, and you can GO AWAY!  Ok..buh bye now.  Stop attacking me! You suck!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Day After Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was awesome.  Amazing.  Perfect.  Simple. 

  • My food came off WONDERFULLY.  Everything at the perfect time, looking perfect.  Check out my recipe blog later for some of the wonderful recipes. http://makebelievechef.blogspot.com/
  • Everyone showed up on time, not late, not annoyingly early.  They walked in to a warm, clean house, smelling like Thanksgiving.  
  • No one argued, or annoyed anyone.  Very little cringing and tongue biting. 
  • Everyone left stuffed to the gills of wonderful food.
  • I had a dishwasher that made cleaning the kitchen back up take just minutes, not hours days.
  • After lunch it started raining and sleeting and was horribly nasty outside, it was perfect weather to sit, eat dessert, and play Wii.  And nap.
  •  Family then returned for leftovers.  Meaning I have very few leftovers now (yay!).
  • One of the best things about Thanksgiving is eating pie for breakfast the next morning.  YUMM!
  • So...my belly is fully, my heart is content, my house is clean..THIS is what Thanksgiving should feel like.
  • Hopefully going to sweet talk Klay into putting the tree up tonight, tomorrow, or Sunday.  Puh-leeese, Daddy Klay??  PEEEEESSSEEE?!
In other news....I finished knitting my scarf.  Yet I still dont have a scarf, it was stolen.  I thought the novelty had worn off and I'd wear it this morning.  Nope, on the way out the door I stopped to kiss Isaac bye bye....he said "scarf!" and took it away...

Klay  Isaac has been formulating his Christmas list.    Klay Isaac wants Lincoln Logs, Legos, and Play Dough.  I think he'll also get a BIG coloring book (one of those you can lay in the floor and color) and maybe WASHABLE markers.   Can't wait until Daddy's payday to start shopping.  I have my list of what I am getting most everyone and would like to start getting it done so Christmas can feel like Thanksgiving did.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I'm having trouble being thankful at the moment.  I'm mostly just stressing over the Holidays and all I "have to do."  I need to rectify my attitude.  So in an attempt to do that I am going to do an overly cliche and trite list of what I am thankful for. 

Count you blessings, name them one by one.  Count your blessing see what God had done.  Count your blessings...name them..one...by..one.... Count your many blessings see what God has done.

I am thankful that...

  • I am married to my best friend.  A man who totally knows how crazy I am and actually likes me anyway!
  • I have a totally cute, smart, and mostly well behaved child.
  • Said child is healthy and normal despite his rough start.
  • I have a warm, secure house.
  • I have so much stuff that said house is pretty trashed all the time.
  • I now have a dishwasher because without it it would be more trashed than it is now.
  • I have a job, that while might pay less than other jobs, its laid back enough that I am doing this.
  • 98% of the time I love my job.
  • the other 2% is usually just due to me being spoiled by said job.
  • I have a bunch of online friends, that I can say are really and truely my friends and "get" me.
  • that even though my family kinda drives me crazy sometimes I have family.
  • I don't have to travel long distances to see said family.
  • I have two cats that are an awesome fit for our family.
  • I have two dogs that make our life interesting to say the least
  • I have farm fresh eggs right out my back door from hens lovingly tended to by a loving hubby.
  • I have farm fresh milk from a cow that I know her name (Haggatha).
  • I have a nice, new, pretty, red car, just like I wanted.
  • I have a nifty "smart phone" in a cutsey pink cover, also just like I wanted. 
  • I have two deep freezers and a basement pantry full of food.  
  • I know how to cook and enjoy cooking and utilize said skill frequently.
  • I go to small church and I can name every person and where they sit.
  • our pastor's wife shares our pew and doesn't mind (and actually enjoys) helping me with Isaac. 
  • my church loves me and my child and doesnt mind his occasional 2yr old antics.
  • I have a washer and dryer in my home, otherwise house would be even worse!
Ok...sure there are more but I have to work now...

Monday, November 22, 2010

Christmas 2010

Retro Plaid Christmas 5x7 folded card
Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.
View the entire collection of cards.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Marriage and Facebook

Okay...here is my thoughts/opinions/rats of the day.  Please feel free to weigh in, I love discussions.

A New Jersey pastor "ordered" 50 married church leaders to delete their facebook accounts or resign their position.  He reasoning...to save their marriage.  Ultimatum on Facebook

I have a facebook.  My hubby does not.  He loathes social networking. 
I only have one ex and he is not on my facebook (however, if he sent me a friend request I'd have no issue in accepting since we WERE good friends and my intent would NOT be to "hook up" or any such thing, and my hubby would have full knowledge of him being on there, but he hates me b/c I told him he was controlling and stuff so thats neither here nor there.)
My hubby does not have my facebook password, yet I dont necessarily HIDE it from him.  Can't tell you the number of times I've left it logged in, or we've used it jointly to research people he knows/knew.

My thoughts on this is that it is not facebook that is destroying marriages, but something underlying that facebook enables to happen.  And that being the case, blaming it on facebook is hiding your head in the sand.  If you are so vulnerable that you cheat on your spouse just because you came back in contact with an ex on facebook, then you would have been vulnerable to the first attack that came your way.  Whether you knew it or not you were looking for an opportunity.

If you are so untrusting of your spouse that just the worry of facebook has you accusing them and tearing your marriage apart, then there are other issues involved.

Here is a quote from the article:
"I know he feels very strongly about this," she said. "It can be a useful tool, but it also can cause great problems in a relationship. If your spouse won't give you his or her password, you've got a problem."

Yes, if your spouse is hiding it, you might have a problem.  But it is not a facebook problem...if it wasn't their facebook it might be their email, their text messages, their job.  I'm all for openness and honesty in a marriage, I tell hubs everything (more than he really even CARES to know).  He doesn't tell me every breath he takes during the day but he DOES tell me what matters.  If the hospital (where he works IT) sends him to the home of a transcriptionist (usually female) he'll call and tell me on his way.  Because it's tempting? No  But because he wants me to know, for one that way if anything DID happen or if anyone SUGGESTING something ("I saw your hubby at a woman's house!") I would already know and he would have been honest with me.  He's had ex-gfs call him several times about computer issues, he was always quick to tell me about the call.  Not that I dont trust him, but how would I have felt if I borrowed his phone and saw an hour long call from an ex that he never mentioned?  Once an ex even asked him to stop by her house and look at a computer, before he told her he would he asked me if it was ok and if I wanted to go along.  I told him I trusted him and no need for me to go, but he ASKED.  I KNEW. 

"The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or been faced with evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites in divorce cases over the last five years."
This stat is misleading in my opinion.  Again, I think facebook is just a tool to achieve something that inevitably would have happened anyway.  Taking away the tools that are used to achieve something is NOT solving the root problem.

I personally think this church would do a much better job at preserving marriages in their congregation by having sermons and studies on marriage.  Having couple's retreats and things like that, rather than attacking facebook.  By demanding that their leaders delete their accounts and strongly suggestion the congregation do the same, they are actually making the problem worse.  Say a spouse innocently has a facebook, and since he/she is not doing anything nor plans to do anything inappropriate they chose not to delete it.  Now Pastor stand up on Sunday morning and declares it a "danger to your marriage" what does other spouse think?  Now do that start to worry that their spouse is cheating, looking up old girlfriend/boyfriends?  There a strife has been caused in a marriage that had no call for it. 

Trust.  Its all about trust.  Work on your marriage, grow your marriage, don't get caught up in petty things and hide your head in the sand if there is a real issue and place the blame on something/someone else. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Prematurity Awareness Day 2010

Today is Prematurity Awareness Day.
If you are my friend, you are aware.
If you are a new friend and not aware, I encourage you to check out some of my earlier postings.

Not going to beat y'all over the head with our story again today.If you want to know more or want to talk, please ask, I love sharing.

I thought I'd share some other links and information for you.

An Excellent Blog Post

Signs and Symptoms of Preterm Labor

If Your Baby is Born Too Soon

"Late" Preterm Births  

Why the Last Weeks of Pregnancy are Important.  Remember, just because you are "term" doesn't mean its eviction time for baby.
Some GOOD News

How You Can Help

This should not be the way any parent has to see their child for the first time.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Letting Go

Okay, I know this sounds pessimistic, and I don't really mean it to be that way.

However, I am feeling like I am being told to let it go.  Not "let it go and hand it to God" but let it go as in "it ain't gonna happen."  And for some reason I have.  Not that I LIKE it.  Not that I WANT that.  But I just feel a strange weird feeling about it.  Generally I can see it, like its just a waiting game (again) but not this time.  The little picture in my head feels like its moving away.  I used to see it clearly, not I don't.  Its not even there, I can't see it anymore. 

I'm really not liking this.  I don't want this.  But its really not my choice.

I've never felt this way before.  I feel sad, but not depressed.  I feel...I don't know how I feel.  

I know this doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense. 

I'm not looking for a pity party.  Not looking for advice.  I'm just saying...


Friday, November 12, 2010


Who loves freebies?  ME!  Who loves freebies for stuff you really need?  ME! Who loves pictures of the world's cutest kid?  ME ME ME (and of course that kid is mine!)

There is a promotion for bloggers to get 50 free Holiday cards.  And I am trying to get it!  I love doing photo Christmas Cards.  They started with me and the man setting up our camera on a tripod and posing with our dog in front of a black sheet.  Then we progressed to in front of the Christmas tree.  We'd usually take around 100 pics and end up with 3 that were ok.  Ok means we both look at camera, you can't see where the edge of the sheet is, both of our heads are in the picture, and its not too blurry.  Then it got easier when I could take a pic of a cute little baby dressed as Santa.  THEN it got harder when cute little baby became a toddler.  This year, however, we called in the pros...well my friend who wants to be a pro, and is well on her way.  She took our pics.  So for the first time ever we can have Christmas cards with a professional family photo!  No auto timer, tripods, or black sheets involved.  Just our smiling faces (and  a few m&ms to bribe the two year old!)  This year I can not wait to send our card out, and if I can get free cards, even BETTER!!  I've never used Shutterfly personally but have heard great things and can't wait to try out this deal!

If we get them here are the ones I'm looking at:



This is my favorite!

If you are a blogger you can get this deal too!  Its super easy.  Sign up by going to http://bit.ly/sfly2010

Yay for free stuff!! Yay for pictures!  YAY!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Prematurity Awareness Month

November is Prematurity Awareness Month.  Usually I am not a fan of all these "awareness" months, but this one I think people really aren't aware of  what all it means.  I mean sure, everyone knows about Breast Cancer (I think, I'd hope).  But are people honestly aware of how many babies are born premature?  I wasn't.  I had no idea that that many babies were born so early, or what it meant to have a preemie.

It means more than just a tiny baby.  It means a baby who had to fight for his life daily, for weeks.  It means a baby that isnt handed to a smiling mama while the doctor proclaims "its a boy", but instead delivered to a room of doctors/nurses holding their breath for a positive outcome then rushing the baby out of the room to a waiting team of neonatal professionals. 

It means learning terms like apnea, braycardia, patent ductus arteriosis, reflux, retinopathy, hemocrit counts, etc.  And using those terms on a daily basis when you check in on your child.  It means learning to breastfeed in a hotel room with a pump and a wrinkled picture a nurse took of your child.

It means learning more than how to install the carseat, but how to administer medications, reset heart monitors, and CPR.

It means waking up in the middle of the night 100 miles away from your baby in a cold sweat and shaking as you call the NICU because you had a dream that he died.  To thankfully, be reassuringly told by an angel on earth that he was "having a good night" and sleeping, then laying back down (after hooking yourself up to a milking machine) and being unable to go back to sleep. 

It means boarding an elevator nearly everyday for two months to travel to the 2nd floor along with families taking flowers to their new mom and sometimes meet families get off the elevator going home...with their 2 day old. 

It means finally taking that walk yourself, holding your breath and pinching yourself asking if its really real after 63 days are you finally going home...all of you...going home. 

It means every so often looking at pics of your tiny 3lb baby, while your 30 lb toddler runs through the house singing "Row Row Row, EIEIO, Little Tar!!!"  It means every so often getting on your soap box to "educate" women (and men) on what premature birth means.  It means hounding your pregnant friends every time they say their back hurts to make sure it just hurts and isnt "time able at regular intervals and getting closer.

It means being thankful for being allowed to witness a true miracle firsthand and never ever ever taking your child for granted.  Even though at the time you were sure it was a punishment.  But now knowing that it was a blessing that you just had to open your eyes to realize.   

Monday, November 8, 2010


My family needs a routine.  We are horrible managers of our time.  It makes us stressed and overwhelmed and then it gets worse.  Sure we are busy folks, with us both working, but we really don't have much else going, we don't have ballgames, meetings, and stuff like that.  I feel like our biggest setback on getting Isaac potty trained and in a good bedtime routine is our lack of schedule and routine.  Our home is chaos...we let the house get messy until we have to clean it up, I nearly always cook dinner but I am usually stressed about what to make.  Bedtime is when ever we get so tired we crash. Laundry gets done when we run out of clothes, making for some stressful mornings getting ready for work.  Hubs stays home with Little Man on Mondays and Fridays, so those days this schedule is pretty much for me as far as mornings go.  However, we are also hoping this helps Daddy get out the door quicker on days he goes in to work, thus allowing us to carpool, thus saving us money and making us more money by him getting more hours.  (For clarification, he is a self employed computer consultant who works via contract..translation...FLEXIBILITY)  

So in an attempt to get us "in order" I am drafting a "Family Schedule."

So.....here we are...presenting our family schedule.  (Open to critique!)  

Daily Schedule

6:00 AM Rise and Shine!
6:00-7:00 Daddy chore time
Mommy and Isaac shower and get dressed
7:00-8:00 Daddy shower and get dressed
Mommy and Isaac fix breakfast
8:00-8:30 Eat breakfast/gather up stuff to leave
8:30 Out the Door!!

6:00pm Get home!
6:00-7:00 Daddy chore time.
Mommy fix supper
Isaac Play time
7:00 Suppertime!
7:30-8:00 TV time, playtime, pick up supper dishes,
8:00 Bath, brush teeth, in Pjs
8:30-9:00 Quiet time (reading, quiet chores, etc.)
9:00 Isaac's Bedtime
10:00 Mommy and Daddy Bedtime

For clarification...Daddy's chore time is bringing in firewood, tending chickens, feeding animals, etc.  As well as any work stuff he may have to get done.  

The evening time frames are flexible, we sometimes get home sooner than 6:00.  Sometimes eat earlier than 7:00.  Biggest stickler I want to have is everyone getting ready for bed at 8:00 and winding down.  At this time I can do laundry or other stuff, Isaac can play some more, Daddy can do some work if needed, just getting the house calm.  By 9:00 I want to get Isaac to laying down, this may take 30 minutes or more to get him to sleep, but so be it.  And for myself...I can't stay  away much past 10:00...ever.  And after Isaac is asleep Mommy and Daddy can do whatever...even watch "grown up" TV shows or what not.  

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


I really like my family. 
First is was just Klay and me.  We met each other and really liked each other.

 November 2004
So we had a wedding.  It was pretty.  I liked it.  I always wanted to get married.

March 19, 2005

Then we decided we needed a baby.  This baby thought we were SO awesome and couldnt wait to be with us he was born three months early.  It was rough but we were a family so we made it.

Our first family pic.  August 5, 2008

Baby grew bigger and finally came home.  We like being a family.

October 2008

We do stuff together as a family.  Like walk and raise money for the March of Dimes.

April 2009

Artist rendering, April 2010

And go play in fields of Daffodils.  And meet up with cool people we know.

March 2010
(Photo taken by same nurse who took first family photo above)

We also like to read books.  Yes, sometimes in our back yard.

October 2010

Sometimes Isaac isnt sure if he's so crazy about these folks that are his family.  But he'll come around.

But he knows we love him.  And he knows we are wrapped around his little fingers.

We like being a family.  We are happy.  Three is a good number.  (of course I wouldnt complain with the number four, or even five, but we'll take what we are given).  

Monday, November 1, 2010

Trick or Treat

Halloween has come and gone.  I know a lot of Christians are pretty controversial about Halloween.  While I don't "celebrate" Halloween and make a big deal out of it, I must say in the past couple years I have thoroughly enjoyed it.  This year I went home last night say "Halloween was AWESOME"  We had the BEST time.  Seriously!  (and we didn't worship Satan once!)  I mean seriously, can a "holiday" where you dress your kid up as cute as can be and parade him around to family collecting candy be all bad?  Then after that going to another family members house for a little party, very family themed, just roasting hotdogs, marshmellows, playing outside and more candy!  Night was wrapped up with one LONG hayride winding through the field.  With a few big kids "scaring" the riders.  However, Isaac was NOT scared.  I'd ask him "Isaac, whats out there?" His response..."Hay!"  Yes, it WAS a hay field!

And I must add, he was THE. CUTEST. DRAGON. EVER!  So yes, we "celebrated" Halloween, and Yes, it was amazingly fun!