Spoken at 5am, to a sleepy mama, who refused to let him out of bed to go play, while the cat was sitting in the windowsill taunting him.. "I get that cat!" Aye yay yae...what does that mean for my future.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
This time last year we were getting ready for the "long haul" and were going to the hospital to "room in" upon my declaration "I'm not coming home without my baby!" And we didnt, it took 5 long days but we stayed there and worked with him until he came home. The first time I ever felt like a mommy...
This time this year...I am chasing a walking boy. You heard me right, my little man is walking. He takes about 4 or 5 steps then falls, but its one more step every day. And its not the whole, stand him up and reach out as he walks to you, he'll pull up, decide to go get something and walk over to it. And last night I caught him putting his feet under himself and pushing up, he didnt make it all the way to standing but I saw the wheels turning in his head at his new discovery.
Posted by Erin at 2:27 PM
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Not all women will know when they are in labor.
Please quit telling women this.
Please quit saying "Oh hun, you'll know when its the real thing..haha"
and "oh, real contractions you cant talk through"
and "oh your only 29/30/33/etc weeks, first baby's are always late"
Please just stop.
Premature birth is not fun.
However, giving expecting mom's proper information could help reduce it.
So please, just quit talking....
Not trying to scare anyone or anything, but if someone had told me the TRUTH, things might have been a little different. But no, I though there was no way I was in labor at 28 weeks, my contractions werent "bad" enough.
Posted by Erin at 11:22 AM
Monday, September 21, 2009
Visiting the NICU went good. It was odd walking in, I felt like I was in a fog. Pressing "2" on the elevator felt like I was on auto pilot.
We couldnt go back into the main unit due to the flu children arent currently allowed. Which in a way gave me some closure. We arent allowed anymore, we arent part of that anymore. We've moved on. We used to be a part of it, we used to be allowed, but we arent anymore. Kind of like saying, this door is closed, you've graduated.
An obviously new NICU mom was wheeled into the NICU to vist her baby for the first time as we were leaving....I wanted to grab her and hug her and introduce her to Isaac. I didnt, I choked up, swallowed the lump in my throat and prayed for her, she has a bumpy road ahead, but hopefully next year she'll be in our shoes.
We got to go back into 2K (last unit before going home) the nurse who was with us when we roomed in and checked us out was there. Isaac told her all kinds of tales. Not sure what all he said but it involved "truck" "Kitty cat" "dog" "get it" and "Isaac"
Then we left. We walked out, with our son, got on the elevator, with our son, pressed "L", with our son, walked out the main door, with our son, walked across the parking lot, with our son, got in the car, with our son, and went home, WITH OUR SON.
I almost literally felt a closure and weight come off me. It is finished. Isaac is awesome. Isaac is perfect. Isaac is our child, not theirs. They cannot "take him back." They were pleased with his progress. They may not have even remembered us, but we remembered them, I needed this. Its over.
Its still a part of me, always will be. I'm still a preemie "activist." I'll still blog about preemie stuff. Still nag expecting mothers on knowing signs of premature labor and why EVERY week of pregnancy counts (yes, even weeks 38, 39, 40, even 41 or 42!) Still gripe about people's stupid comments to preemie moms (ie: "you are so lucky to have a preemie, no stretch marks and you missed the 'hard' part of pregnancy!") I feel like thats why I was given this. I was chosen to be a preemie mom for a reason and I plan to use that experience. I'm not superior to anyone and I'm far from perfect but if I can tell ONE person information to help then its worth it. Me and Isaac...my little super hero...fighting for tiny and sick babies everywhere.
Posted by Erin at 2:19 PM
Thursday, September 17, 2009
We will be near the hospital this weekend and are planning to stop by and visit the NICU. I am excited to show off Isaac and let his nurses see how well he is doing , however I am a little nervous. It might seem silly, but just the thought of walking back through that lobby and getting on the elevator and pressing "2" and picking up that phone and asking to be let in, kind of makes me nervous. Just the thought of it makes me get short of breath. I can smell it, I can hear the beeps on the monitors. It will be good though, it will be healing, I think. Just remember us on Saturday.
Posted by Erin at 10:34 AM
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Cats are more fun than mom. At least Isaac thinks so .
Last night we were happily playing trucks in the floor.
I had the girl "Little People" and the purple Chuck Truck.
Isaac had the boy farmer "Little People" and the backhoe Chuck Truck.
We were both happily going "Brrrrmmmm"
Then the cat walks by, slinkily, with his tail held high.
I'm sure he smirked at me as he sauntered by.
Isaac stops, drops his toys and exclaims "CAT!!"
And was gone, into the other room chasing the "Cat!"
I sat bewildered with my purple truck and little girl.
Mama just got the blow off.
I followed him into the other room and said "Hey, what about me?"
He laughed and then chased the "Cat!" into the other room.
He played with the cat and I did dishes. =(
Until he decided it was time to rock "night night" and to have milkies...
No one has milkies like mama, not even the "Cat!"
Posted by Erin at 10:34 AM
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Posted by Erin at 11:45 AM
I haven't blogged in over a month. My newly one year old keeps me hopping!
I still havent blogged Isaac's first birthday and I apologize to all of my faithful followers. But in my defense I had a huge blog all written up, pics and all, then the power blinked and it was gone. No joke. And honestly, I've been too lazy to re-do it.
Right now we are in the process of trying to sell our house in Lamar. Shortly after Isaac was born we decided we wanted to be back in the country so he could be raised on a farm and so grandma's would be close by. So we moved into one of mom and dad's houses. Also being rent-free would be helpful in paying off all those medical bills! Two months in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit is EXPENSIVE! We had gotten two offers but they were so low they wouldnt even meet our payoff, well yesterday we got a nice one. We didnt even counter offer! We accepted! I am still not going to breathe easy until we walk out of the closing room!
We got our FIRST egg from our hens the other day! I let Isaac have the honors. He loved it for breakfast!
This blog is rambly today, not nearly as "deep" as some of my others. Usually my blogs center around preemie/NICU stuff, however today...I feel like I may finally be healing. The one year birthday actually made a big difference. But I do think back to this time last year. This time last year when it was still very HOT (and its 60F here now!!) and we were driving back and forth to the hospital. This is Thursday, this time last year we would have probably been hitting the drive through, either Burger King or Subway, and heading to the hospital for our daily visit.
Here in a few weeks we will be in town so we are planning on taking Isaac in to say Hello. Actually, he doesnt say Hello, he throws up his little hand in a wave and says "Hey!" We do not wave Bye Bye, we just say "Hey!" He has been adding alot to his little vocabulary lately, he says "Mama" "Daddy" "Nannie" "Cat" "Dog" "Truck" "Bite" "Cookie" "Book" and of course "Hey" And unfortunately...."no no no no" :-S
Posted by Erin at 11:29 AM