Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Nighty Night

Ok, I'm riled up today.  This is why.
CPSC Bans Drop Side Cribs

Let me see if I can get my thoughts into a coherent manner...

First off, I am sorry for parents who have lost their children to this.  I am sorry for parents who have lost a child for any reason.  But freak accidents happen.  I'm sorry, they just do.  Its sad, but we live in a fallen world.

When this was first starting about banning drop side cribs, I asked someone who was all for it, what moms, such as myself at a mere 5ft 2inches were supposed to do.  I mean I did good to get the kid in and out of the crib WITH a drop side.  (even then it usually resulted in "dropping" him the last inch and him waking up....grrr.)  I was told, "just get a stool."  Umm...okay.  Lets think about this.  I am clumsy, I mean really clumsy.  I have a tendency to hurt myself in freak ways.  (Seriously, I BROKE my foot stepping off a step...a step much lower than many step stools).  I'm just cringing at what would happen should I attempt to climb on a stool, with a sleeping baby, in the middle of the night...that folks, is a recipe for disaster if I ever heard of one.

It also says in the article that the cribs aren't made to hold up to kids who can run, climb, and pull on the sides.  Umm..ok...seems to me, if the kid can run, climb, jump, rattle the sides, it may be time to look into a toddler bed.  But..wait....kid might get up before the parents, or you won't be able to put them in bed and let them cry until they fall asleep.  Well folks...let me tell you about this little thing called PARENTING!  Its really quiet grand, its kinda hard but very rewarding.  You should try it sometime!

Another thing, my inlaws still have their crib from when the hubs was a baby (folks this thing is a good 30+ years old!).  Guess what, the drop side parts are METAL!  Wanna guess what the parts on Isaac's crib are made guessed it PLASTIC.  Also, wanna guess where Isaac's NEW crib is made...I'll give you a hint, its starts with "C" and ends with "hina".  I don't know for a fact but I'm confident hub's crib was made a little more in this country.  Would it have made sense to maybe mandate that quality parts be used to construct a safe sleeping place for our children rather than just banning them and opening up other issues that could be dangerous?  No...its the government, that would make WAY too much sense.  Besides, if we ban all cribs people will run out and buy NEW ones!  (just not this mama!)

Here is what will happen.  Parents will stop lowering the mattress because the mattress on the lowest setting makes it near impossible to get baby in and out of, so just keep it high where you can reach.  Kids will pull up, fall out, get seriously hurt, some might even die.  In a few years the CPSC will start wanting to ban all open top cribs.  (and also elevated cribs)  We will start putting our kids to bed in a dog crate.  Problem solved! 

But really, this changes nothing for me.  We already have a drop side crib that I have no intention of getting rid of.  It was recalled, we ordered the parts but I have no intention of installing them.  Its not like we use our crib anyway right now.  Didn't use it much before.  Isaac slept in a high class $2,000+ a day room for two months.  In the basinette next to our bed for another 4.  Then after that in our bed most of the time except a few short hours a night.  Then at 18 months I said forget it and set up a toddler bed.  Now he still sleeps with us.  And after the first of the year (at age 2 1/2) we are setting up a twin bed...then he'll still probably sleep with is.  I know...we did/do that horrible thing called co-sleeping! must feel sorry for us right?  I mean my kid is SO utterly clingy and intolerable.  And me and hubby get "couple time".  (Can you "hear" my kid is well adjusted, friendly, likable, and me and hubs...we'll we are "creative" I'll leave it at that..."

Here is a good solution if you are worried about the crib issue.
Children Should Sleep...

I want to add...I may have just offended a ton of people with my over generalizations and the like, but um...this is my blog, I say what I want.  And IF you are my friend and fall under any of the things I mentioned, take heart because if you are still my friend then well, I wasn't talking about you! :-)  I feel strongly about some thing, and you may feel strongly in another direction, which is fine.  I blog about things to keep myself from yelling them into the faces of perfect strangers or casual acquaintances. :-)   


Jeanie said...

Well said, Erin. Know your own kid enough to know if they can manipulate the kid. We used my brother's crib from when his kid was born and it had a drop side. Adam NEVER got it down. NEVER TRIED.

And when we caught him trying to put a leg up over the rail we dropped the mattress to the last setting.

And when he was tall enough and tried to get over the rail AGAIN...we went and bought a twin bed frame at IKEA (that is low to the ground -- about 10 inches off the ground, and you don't need a box spring)...and then I bought side rails at BabiesRUS.

All in one day. Because him not escaping a crib was of utmost importance.

And yep -- I started getting wakened by the human alarm clock much earlier when he'd just show up at my bed and say good morning.

It is sad when equipment has TRULY failed. My word, I can't imagine. But it's the old "Don't use this hair dryer while sleeping" tag on EVERY hair dryer. Do we REALLY need to be told that?

Janine said...

Yeah, I am using Jadon's drop crib for Joshua. I just ignored the recalls.

I did flinch and get my feelings hurt at your generalization of parents who "just let their kids cry and fall asleep."

I do parent. I parent well. Just because we use a method of crying it out doesn't mean I'm lazy or lack of a parent.

Just saying.

Erin said...

Let me start by saying I love you and I think you are a good mom. Never said you werent. I do however, have a very strong opinion on CIO/controlled crying/sleep training. However, I also do NOT see it as my personal vendetta to change the mindset of the world on to align with mine. I have several friends who do methods of CIO/CC, therefore I purposefully refrain from entering into said discussions with them. I DO think CIO is a poor CHOICE,in my opinion, but I do NOT think that makes one a bad parents. Just like I have friends who are anti-circumcision. I dont agree with them, but I dont get upset when they post/blog about it.

The people I referenced in this post were NOT people like you, Janine. It was people, I can name some examples privately to you if you wish, who I KNOW the reason they keep their child in a crib beyond a reasonable amount of time is so that they can put them to bed and they be contained. And sometimes that means putting them to bed and letting them SCREAM for a couple HOURS. I dont think any of my friends participate in those methods of CIO. <3 ya, Jae.

Janine said...

Thanks for responding. I'm glad you did. I think we can agree to disagree on this issue. I don't think my decision has been a poor one. I think it would be a poor one if you could see it in my kids, how they interact, play, smile, and love. They've turned (and turning) into great sleepers. I love that I can put them to bed and they go to sleep without any fear or major 'work'.

That said, your right. The form of CIO I use does not include letting my kid scream for hours! Heck, the longest I've ever gone was ten minutes and that was too long.

Although, there have been times I needed a serious break and it was either shake him or put him in his crib and stepping out of the room to take a moment. (when they were tiny babies and I was utterly exhausted.) Yes, they cried, but when I returned a short bit later I was more level headed and ready to tackle mommyhood.

I just think, as parents and friends, we need to be careful how we express ourselves if we're being critical of a form of mothering.

Erin said...

You are right, we will have to agree to disagree and that's OK. :-)

However, I don't think we should ALWAYS have to walk on egg shells when expressing our opinions. I think, society as a whole, does that way too much and it causes too many problems. I wouldn't be mad or get my feelings hurt a bit if you said "I think parents who run to their kids the moment they whimper are spoiling their kids." B/c that's your opinion, and that's okay. It just means we have differing opinions, and it sure doesn't mean we can't still be friends! Just means we might out to refrain from in depth discussions on such methods (which I'm fine with!) lol

Janine said...

I get it. It's your blog and you can write anything you want.

I also agree that, as a society, we're pansies and don't just state truth in a lot of ways.

However, I think there is a huge difference between someone calling your kid spoiled... and then someone else calling you neglectful as a parent. I think that's crossing a line that's unacceptable unless it's flat out abuse.

Of course, I think letting your kid cry in his/her crib for HOURS just because you don't want to be a parent is wrong. That is neglectful. Yet, you can't lump all forms of CIO in that far right range. It's very hurtful to mothers who do forms of CIO and aren't abusive. I also don't think it has anything to do with having a thick skin. Mom's invest their entire life into their child and having anyone call them neglectful or abusive is very painful.

I'm not fighting with you. You know I love and respect you to the bottom of my very toes! I just want you to be aware of that 'line'.

Kathryn said...

Erin, you bring out a good point. It is your blog and you can say whatever you want! Thank you for reminding me that our blogs are just that, our blogs. They are our platforms to say what we want. If someone doesn't like what you have to say, they can, um, not read it. I get so afraid of offending someone on my blog. But, it's my blog and I can say what I want. Thanks for the reminder! And kudos to you for doing just that!