Monday, October 11, 2010

Soo...um...yeah

Took a super cute pic of Isaac Saturday night to post online.  Had the cute little boy holding a sign that said "Big Brother to B".  Sunday morning I deleted it because he was no longer a big brother to be.

On one hand I said "yay, well I can actually get pregnant"  but then the doc called and said that it was just a hormonal abnormality (most likely) called a chemical pregnancy, and there was never anything there.  Just my body being my own worst enemy and hating me. 

I'm ok.  I don't really feel like talking about it.  Don't take it personal. 

It sucks.  I hate it.  I am angry at myself for actually believing I was pregnant and making a big production over it.  I am upset that I got so attached to something that was never there.  Yeah I was dreaming and planning and thinking of names for a baby that was just a figment of my body's imagination in the attempt to make me suffer. 

So yeah, it sucks.  My heart hurts.  But I'll get over it.

4 comments:

Jen said...

I'm sorry.

Jen said...

I am sorry Erin, praying for you <3

TammyIsBlessed said...

It's not true Erin. There was a baby. Your body did not trick you. If your hormones were high enough to register a positive pregnancy test then conception occurred. Medical definitions are not Christian definitions. You were pregnant Erin. You didn't imagine it. You didn't believe a lie. Don't believe the lie now.

Jeanie said...

(((ERIN)))