Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Funny...the very second you think you are over something it comes and bites you in the year.  My son will be two in 9 days...its been nearly two years since we left the NICU behind us, why does it still bother me?  Why dont I just let it go?  Why do I still tear up when I think of all the stuff I missed and had to deal with instead.  I know, I post posts like this alot, its probably annoying.  But here I sit today...still lamenting over things and the "what ifs."



Claire said...

I'm so glad you do post about this honey. Your road has been rougher than most and I find the way you articulate things really touching, and refreshingly honest.

I'm so thrilled for you guys and what you have now, but I think it's always good to reflect. And even to mull over the 'what ifs' from time to time.


Jeanie said...


A friend of mine had an emergency C-section due to complications...and she nearly died in the aftermath of childbirth.

Her story reminds me of yours in some ways, too, the "what ifs" and "why does this still bother me so much".

I pray you will get the peace you seek.

And, Happy Birthday to Isaac, too!

Anonymous said...

I stumbled onto your blog via another blog... I haven't been in your shoes, so I can't say I know how you feel... But I can relate to the "what if's"... my husband suffered a massive heart attack at 39 years old (2 years ago as well) - the prognosis was good but not great (apparently it was his second heart attack & alot of damage had been done to his heart - they were unable to place stents & bypass would not "reawaken" the damaged tissue... For two years, I have gone through a variety of emotions - but mainly why? what if? ... A month ago, an MRI revealed his heart is getting much weaker & suddenly he is being evaluated to see if he is eligible for a heart transplant... God has used this more recent event to show me that He is (and always has been in control)... I've always known this about God -- it is no surprise, but I've finally come to the place of acceptance... The peace & calmness that God has granted me through this acceptance has been OVERWHELMING! I've always considered myself someone strong in my faith - but now I realize how weak I am without Him... Praying you will find strength through Him...