Thursday, December 27, 2007


I realize that many of my posts are sad, depressing, even whiney. I am really not that negative of a person. I just think all my bloggy friends get the "bad side" of my life. When things are great, thats when I turn to hubby and "real life" people. When things are bad, I just blog, that way no one in real life has to "put up with it." I feel bad putting all this on my real life friends, so I keep most of the depressing whining things to my blog. It seems more anonymous that way. Plus, with a blog you have a choice to stop reading. In real life it kinda hard to stop listening. Then there is all the "helpful" comments people make. Don't always need advice, somedays I just need a hug.

Right now things are okay. I am tired. Tired of stressing. Tired of planning. Tired of all the details and speculation and disappointment that come with infertility issues. I am tired of even thinking about it all. I am tired of meds, labwork, and tests. Somedays, I even find myself tired of sex.

But right now things are good. The holidays were nice. I got lots of nice things. Ate lots of nice food. Spent lots of nice time with family. Including the new sister-in-law that we got for Christmas. Its nice having another girl in the family. I really hope we can be friends after we get to know each other.

The holidays also had their downside, there was being around all the kids. Being the only one without children. Getting harassed about that. I couldn't help but sit there and wonder if I'd have a baby of my own by next Christmas. I thought I'd be at least pregnant by this Christmas, but alas, I'm not. Next goal...our anniversary. Klay wanted to wait three years before got pregnant, so I guess he's going to get his wish. We'll have been married three years on March 19.

2008 is upon us. 2007 is over, thankfully, it was kind of a crappy year. I hope 2008 has better things in store.


Ryanne Marmaro said...

Our sermon in church this morning was about thankfulness, it really struck a chord with me as I've found myself taking for granted the things I've been blessed with and longing for the things we don't have and constantly wanting things to change. I was reminded of the story of Job, he had EVERYTHING taken from him and yet he "fell on his knees in worship" because he was so thankful for even the breath of life that was left in his lungs.

"20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart. [c]
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

It's so hard sometimes to remember to be thankful for what we've been blessed with...

A verse that helped me when we were ttc was Romans 12:15, especially when I found myself having trouble being happy for those who were getting pregnant.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn"