Blog Re-do

My blog is boring me...look for a re-vamp very soon. 

Maybe more crafties...more recipes...more "stuff"...

A Better Day

My last post was depressing...lets blame in on PMS, a messy house, and lack of sleep...that makes me a not very nice person.  But thanks everyone for all the sweet comments, they all made me smile, some made me cry.  I love my friends.

I miss blogging...I read people's cool blogs and get all inspired to blog more...then log in and stare at the blank screen for a while...what do I blog about?  My life is pretty dull and I am not very good at making the mundane tasks of my day seem interesting. 

This past weekend I went to a Search Dog Training Seminar...that is interesting right?  Staying all weekend, outside (well the 'inside' parts were rock cabins where you could see daylight through the cracks). Did I mention I had a two year old in tow too?  Yeah...interesting.  You'd think it'd be the ladies at this kind of thing that would ooo and ahh over the cute kid...nope...it was the men.  The 6+ft tall, intimidating looking (until you get to know them), men who would scoop him up and rock him to sleep.  Nice.

Inferior

I feel inferior...I always have.  To everyone.  I feel like everyone around me sees me and thinks that I am ugly or fat or dumb or making bad choices.  I have always felt this way, I wont lie.  I can't recall a time in my life when I havent felt this way.  I dont like it.  I wish it would change. 

I'm not saying any of this for sympathy.  Or for anyone to come tell me I'm not fat/ugly/dumb/etc.  I'm just saying this to get it off my chest.

For some reason today I feel under attack.  It started out with just a simple "off" feeling day, but its progressing into me feeling depressed.  But its Friday so maybe it will get better.  I'm just so sick of feeling inferior, feeling like things just dont ever work out for me...like everything I touch is either a failure, or ends up being "the hard way."   Seriously, nothing I have ever done has turned out "right" or gone smoothly.  I'm  just so sick of it.  For once I want something to be easy, to be "right", to not be a disaster.  Ugh.

Knitting

I want to learn to knit....maybe I'll do that this weekend.