Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Don't Take Anything For Granted

I am a member of a forum for pregnancy and motherhood. And lately there are several things on there that are annoying to me (and I see them in real life too). The biggest thing is how much of pregnancy and childbirth that people take for granted. And how once a woman reaches 37 weeks, they assume everything is going to be "just fine." How an early elective induction is not a problem. And how they just can't wait to not be pregnant anymore. I'm sorry, but as a mother who didn't even get a third trimester, I see the benefit and necessity of the full 40 (+) weeks of pregnancy. Every week, every day, makes a huge difference. A baby's lungs are not even finished developing until the very final weeks. 40 weeks...just 40 weeks out of your lifetime, that is a small sacrifice to make for your child. WHY be induced at 37 or 38? Are you really so selfish that you want to be done with pregnancy so bad that you'll compromise your child's health for two measly weeks? Tell ya what, I would gladly take your two weeks...I'll take all your two weeks. But of course, I got off "easy" and "missed out" on the last TWELVE weeks. So what do I know huh?

When your little one is born and he/she is placed on your chest, and daddy and grandparents are standing around taking pictures...don't take that for granted. There may be a mommy in the next room on the phone to a NICU two hours away trying to get directions to go see her baby for the first time and wondering if he'll even be ok until she gets there to see him. As you are being discharged being wheeled to your car with your baby in the carseat.......dont take that for granted. There may be a mommy being wheeled to her car empty handed..... Family members, as you get on the elevator to go see your newest addition, bubbling with excitement as you carry cameras and flowers and gifts....dont take that for granted. There may be a solem couple carrying a small cooler and a breast pump stepping on the elevator too making their umpteeth trip to the NICU next door.

I've been the other person in all those scenarios.

I know I blog about this stuff alot...its my therapy. I have serious issues with our experience. I am unable to let it go. Not ONE DAY goes by I dont relive part of it. Not one single day.... I wonder if that will ever get better? I wonder if that will ever lessen. I dont want to forget, but I dont want to be haunted forever either. I cannot move on, its part of me now. Call me crazy if you want to...


Nicole said...

Well, you are not crazy Erin :P

Things like this that affect our lives are hard to just get over. It's hard to just "move on". You can be thankful though that you do feel blessed, happy and thankful for Isaac and for your family. You know how blessed you are. You would even feel blessed if your pregnancy lasted for 42 weeks! That's just the kind of lady you are. You love your baby boy no matter what and I'm happy he's such a healthy baby :o)

I too get sad when ladies want their babies out 2 to 3 weeks early because they just can't handle being pregnant anymore. Since when is it alright to play God and bring a baby into the world before it's even ready? I could see doing so if your baby or you were having complications and it needed to come out NOW. But I know women who have talked their doctors into getting c-sections or being induced early. I've also heard about doctors inducing ladies early because they are going on vacation and can't be bothered.

Sure, babies can be born at 37 weeks and be perfectly healthy, but if it wasn't born due to going into labor or having complications then why risk its health? I will never understand some women and the choices they make.

Jen said...

Erin your not crazy, blog all you want...Its never easy to move on, it takes time to heal and I know it was not easy for you, but how amazing is it that you had God backing you all the way, watching over Isaac and He is one happy healthy baby... Isaac is very cute and you can tell he is very happy and very and Klay are great parents!

It is sad that their are people out there who take these moments for grantneed

Claire said...

What a thought provoking and honest post. Thanks for sharing.


Jeanie said...


There are also plenty of women who could write a blog post about having no NICU to go and visit because their baby has died. They could look at your situation and say "Well, at least you HAD a NICU to go to..."

People just get excited about THEIR experience (when it's easy) and they don't generally think beyond that to see that others' babies are sick or too young or have died.

I'm sorry that it is still so painful for you and I sure hope it lessens with time although I am sure you will not ever forget - and I am glad in a lot of ways for that because you can help educate people on being sensitive with their comments and maybe you'll help a person or two that was complaining about the last few weeks of pregnancy.

God bless all of you. I cannot believe Isaac has TEETH now! BIG BOY!

Rochelle said...

You are not the least bit crazy.

You are dealing with it...and in a way that will probably help other mothers who have gone through the same thing...and remind those who have not how blessed they truly are.

I fully believe that 40 or 40+ weeks is best...

so you are not alone!

Bethany said...

I totally see your point. And I'm so glad that your story had such a happy ending and that your boy is now an incredibly cute, chubby, perfect baby. (((Hugs)))

P.S. I was reading on another forums site, I believe it was APA, and I saw you there! I haven't posted much. Just getting info. :)