Monday, August 4, 2008

Things never go how you imagine. You have a dream and an image of how life should be and then it doesn't go that way...

I never thought I'd struggle to get pregnant.
I never thought I'd deliver my baby just one week into the third trimester.
I never imagined that I wouldn't hold my baby as soon as he was born.
I never thought I'd learn how to breastfeed in a hotel room with a pump and nothing but a picture of my baby.
I never thought I'd be at work a week after he was born while he is two hours away being taken care of by strangers who know my baby better than I do.
I never thought my heart would stop every time my phone rings "in case its something bad."
Its not supposed to go this way.
This isn't how its supposed to be.
Its just plain not fair.
It really sucks.


Nicole said...

Awwww Erin :o( So many things seem to have not worked out the way it should have. But God knows why this happened and he is taking care of your baby boy. I am glad Isaac has such loving people taking care of him so that you don't have to worry so much. If you ever need to talk feel free to let me know. I think of you all day long and every update you give I let Lorne know too. He too thinks your baby is quite the amazing boy! You're a great friend Erin and I love how strong you have been. I know you probably don't feel strong at times, but man... you amaze me Erin :o) And Klay is such a great husband and dad. I hope he knows that!

Love you lots and lots!!!!

Kim said...

Erin, I can't even imagine the things you're going through right now. (((((Erin)))))

Do they know why you had him so early?

Di said...

Awwwww, sweetie!!!
I continue to hold the 3 of you up in prayer. You've done soooo well and I am soooo proud of you!! It's ok to have these feelings and you go right ahead and have a meltdown if you need to. Just know that you and Isaac are in God's hands. His way is perfect.

Jen said...

I will be praying for you 3 and I know you have been through alot but know God is with you, Klay and Isaac and Isaac has many loving people caring and praying for him. Erin your a strong women and I know sometimes you think you cant be any stronger but God will give you that strength.
I will continue to pray!