Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.....

August 20, 2011 
I should be 28 weeks, 2 days pregnant...I've never been that pregnant and I have two children.  God has some purpose in all this, as painful as it is. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Again.

Well...my greatest fear this pregnancy happened again.  I once again proved that my body is physically incapable of properly carrying a child...

On July 29th, Isaac's third birthday, I felt "funny" and went to L&D per my doctor's request.  I was 4cm dilated.  I was then transported to a bigger hospital where I was admitted for what we had hoped would be a long stay.  On August 1st James decided he was staying in no longer and flipped breech and literally began kicking his way out at 5cm, landing his mama in an emergency c-section.  At 11:22pm, 2lb 2oz baby James was born at 25 weeks 4 days...I can't believe we are doing this again... 

The worst thing is having to have the birth of your children being met with pity rather than celebration...  Leaving one child behind somewhere so that you can be with the other.  Having a baby that is over a week old that you've only TOUCHED twice, much less held.  I won't lie, this sucks.  I may appear strong but thats the only way I know how to deal with it.  Crying doesn't do anything but get you "those" looks.  I'm ready to wake up from this nightmare and still be pregnant....