Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Again.

Well...my greatest fear this pregnancy happened again.  I once again proved that my body is physically incapable of properly carrying a child...

On July 29th, Isaac's third birthday, I felt "funny" and went to L&D per my doctor's request.  I was 4cm dilated.  I was then transported to a bigger hospital where I was admitted for what we had hoped would be a long stay.  On August 1st James decided he was staying in no longer and flipped breech and literally began kicking his way out at 5cm, landing his mama in an emergency c-section.  At 11:22pm, 2lb 2oz baby James was born at 25 weeks 4 days...I can't believe we are doing this again... 

The worst thing is having to have the birth of your children being met with pity rather than celebration...  Leaving one child behind somewhere so that you can be with the other.  Having a baby that is over a week old that you've only TOUCHED twice, much less held.  I won't lie, this sucks.  I may appear strong but thats the only way I know how to deal with it.  Crying doesn't do anything but get you "those" looks.  I'm ready to wake up from this nightmare and still be pregnant....



4 comments:

Jen said...

I'm working on a little blue hat for your little guy. Lots of prayers for y'all.

Arya said...

((Hugs)) I know this may sound odd but look at the positive, even though this little angel didn't want to stay inside at least you live in a day and age where babies born this early have a huge fighting chance. I know struggling with everything and having to leave one baby to be with this one is hard but soon (maybe not as soon as you would like but soon) your little one will be home and sleeping close to you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time and wanted to let you know how lucky you are to live in a time where technology allows those wee ones who can't or won't stay inside longer a wonderful chance of surviving. ((HUGS))

Jeanie said...

He is beautiful, Erin. Congratulations.

Lea Ann said...

Praying for all of you.