Faith

I am taking a step of faith. Even though I am not pregnant I am preparing for our future child as if I were. I started a baby quilt months ago and laid it aside with some of the issues I have been having. Yesterday I picked it up again. I told hubby that God knows I rarely finish projects so maybe He is waiting for me to finish my quilt. Hubby told me that that was the weirdest logic he had ever heard, but if it made me happy well...whatever. Maybe it is weird logic but if it helps grow my faith and helps me cope in the meantime...so be it.

So here is my quilt. I still have to sew the blocks together, put the borders, and quilt it, but here it is so far. My step of faith....

At least its Friday....

I want to cry. I know God has a plan, I know his plan is perfect, but its easier to say that than to make my heart accept it.

The meds didn't work, they had no effect on me, so we try again.

I am very bummed out at the moment.

I am letting fear control me, my greatest fear, the fear of being denied my greatest desire is seemingly coming true. I know I need to rebuke this fear, and not let it have a hold in my life, but again, easier said than done.

I feel selfish, others have greater problems than me. Others have struggled harder and longer than me, but still 6 months is killing me....

It sucks.

At least its Friday....

My Weekend

Well its Tuesday, so if I am going to blog about the weekend, I probably should do it before it becomes irrelevant.

Saturday we went to the JDRF walk. The ride down there was fun, I played with Liam in the backseat the whole way, we had so much fun. I feel that baby bug rearing its head again... Then we walked, Amber and I got to walk together and talk and it was very nice, we hadnt gotten to chat in a while. My foot endured the walk and I made it through without incident. Which was good since I dont think Amber wanted to carry me back, I guess I could have waited and jumped in the wagon with the little kids....

Afterwards we went to the Farmers Market, we did park far away and had to walk a good ways, but it was okay, the weather wasnt too bad and more chatting. I bought a mini watermelon, some zuchini/squash mix things, and some prickly pear fruit. So far I have eaten the watermelon and some of the squash, yummy! I will fix the prickly pear fruit tonight...(mental note: google how to fix prickly pear fruit).

Then we ate at Western Sizzlin, per Amber's blog, the mirrors were freaky. I kept thinking I saw someone who was oddly familiar and realized it was my reflection. I did have a yummy salad and then fried fish and okra. I did stay away from the dessert. Then Liam and I played and talked the way home. I'm glad he likes me :-) I'm also glad his mama likes me, she's a good friend.

Then after I got home I was dead. My hips were killing me (the foot was fine). Then Klay decided to rearrange the bedroom, I watched and did laundry. Then after a dinner of fried spam and boxed mac and cheese, I crashed and went to bed. I woke up and the room was rearranged, including the bed being moved!

Sunday was church, I overslept and missed Sunday School, but we made church and potluck! (yummy!) Then went to my parents, stayed too long, got dinner, and went home.

Now its a new week, back to the grindstone....

8 Facts

okay, okay I give...I have been tagged twice so I better get with it huh? I've been around, just being too lazy too type, plus works been kinda busy too. So anyway, on with the meme then maybe I'll even blog some more later too!

These are the rules of being tagged: RULES - Post rules before giving the facts - Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves - People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules - At the end of the your blog you need to tag (hopefully) six people and list their names - Leave them a comment on their blog, telling them they have been tagged and not to forget to read your blog.

*8 Random Facts About Me.....

1. I like goats, I think that they are some of the sweetest and cutest animals around. My mother even milks goats, so therefore I have consumed goats milk on a regular basis. I dont drink it anymore because hubby hates goats.

2. I'm an insurance agent but I really wish I was a preschool-early elementary teacher. Even though I like my job I think I'd rather be with kids all day as opposed to adults. But I think I will probably have to settle for being a mom. (which I hope to be one day soon)

3. I've had two goals and dreams my whole life. 1) get married and be a wife and 2) have kids. I have number 1 checked off and am waiting on number 2. There really werent many more things I aspired to be. In kindergarten when all the girls would have their "boyfriends" and would be 'kissing' I was making dinner for them. We had a little play kitchen and thats where I spent all my indoor recess time!

4. I have a phobia of spiders, seeing a spider makes me shake and become unable to breathe. I cant even step on a spider, I have this irrational fear that he will jump up and attack me. Or his little buddies will take revenge on me in my sleep. My old house was overrun with spiders, so it was a harrowing experience.

5. I went to public school from grades K-3, homeschooled in 4-6, went back to public school in 7-10, then homeschooled 11-12. Therefore I never went to a prom.

6. I never went on a date until I was 20. Then I dated the guy for over a year, broke up from him, then three weeks later meet my husband. The previous guy and I talked about marriage, and even picked a date, by the time that date rolled around I had been married to hubby for 2 months.

7. I knew my husband from the time that he was 11 and I 9, we lived 1 1/2 miles apart but met online. Our first date was fishing.

8. I like genealogy. I think dead family members are much more exciting. The dead ones dont feel the need to tell you how fat you are or how you need to hurry up and have kids. The dead ones really don't say much at all, they tend to not embarrass you in public, sometimes they do, but not like the living.

Okay...now who do I tag...I'm not tagging six though because most of my friends have already tagged me!

Amber@The Hawthorne Tree
Jalanda@The Bee's Knees